Well, well....

This year had started in a very stressfull way for me...like the ending of 2009.
Two jobs at the same time, then trainning with a job conciliation, no time for many things but at least I´m very surprised with all the energy I have had for this crazy routine.
Now I need to concentrate my energy in the worthwide things.

It´s funny when you feel a little bit more desirable, and when people is noticing you even when is just because your a NERD or in a SEXY way... it does not matter, it is good. The sad thing is when nobody cares or really notice you´re here or there beside them.

I just hope this people realise that time is flying life is too short and is aint good hurts people´s feeling...

Not proud what I am anymore... don´t care what should be done now... just going with the flow.. to see where all this is gonna get me...

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A song that I like:

http://vagalume.uol.com.br/israel-kamawiwoole/somewhere-over-the-rainbow.html

Just a Few will really LIVE!

You know what... I just learned that your day can be a shitty day and you can extend that for your routine if you continue thinking the same way...and acting the same way backwords to the end of this... so that´s why I´ve been having such shitty weeks, sad months and shitty years.
I worry too much about things and I know that I haven´t learn to say NO when is needed, because it has to be said even to my close ones sometimes...better often..
I don´t want to be a person that has things to regret in this life..(this is tuff, eh?) I rather do things crazy and stupidity should be part of my actions more often if I think a little bit more on me... inside of me... what I really want and not what they want me to want...

Geeeezz, I´m pretty sure I do not express myself well in any language but my eyes do, they are so so transparent so true that I got scared of looking in the mirror to see how obscure and dark I have become... loosing myself inside ...no clue when it has started... Where is that dreamy girl? I know I know that Dreams will not pay my rent but at least they are for FREE...

I´m feeling great this morning just because 9 hours ago I made myself to change the game, to listen the beat of my heart racing and asking me for FREEDOM... to dance...to let my body feel no grativity for a few moments and to make sure that my soul would feel no fear of the Heaven or the Hell judgements...

"Everydoby will die some day, but just a few will really Live"



That´s it! I am happy that nobody knows this blog... and I have no comments at all, I prefer it like that! :D

I should be sleeping right now... my body is tired...my mind is exhausted ..but I can´t fall sleep with so many feelings and thoughts killing me inside...
and when I do fall sleep my body doesn´t want to wake up...get up... for more and more deceptions...
This is really upseting me... every single day this hurts inside...
They are killing me... or Am I letting them sacrifice me....

Tão magoada...e sem conseguir mudar muita coisa...
meu corpo e minha alma estão fracos... sinto isto...

Meu Deus, me ajude. Sei que peço e lamento demais. Só queria ter forças.

Esperança... e mais coragem.

A GAP

There is a GAP between my mind... my thoughts...or between the Platform of my Life with the Train of my Dreams... But this GAP seems so huge that I cant feel right... I miss... You miss... They miss... Something is really missing here... I start this blog in a such disorder of life... with no rules... but many hopes... but not really focusing on magic... Dont really care if somone reads this but inside I want to speak it out very loud and noisy to some ears that aint hearing what I say... what my expressions shows... Someone very important told me it wouldn´t be easier, this adult life sucks most of the time if you let it do so... Wanna apologise GOD for all that I say, I have said and the complains I will say... I am a sinner... trying to find a better way in life to avoid all these complications and mandatory social and economic rules I´m living...I´m surviving... Yes yes... I am starting this year with no rules, no lists, no "nothing".. just a Hope to be a better Year or even the Year of my Life! a Big "F! Globally" and a "Huge Thank You" worthwide things ...

PS. Come back anytime...of course if you do have a time for this. For me.